First Blog Post: “Attention Deficit Disorder”

Fayetteville, NC

Okay. Miz Ginger has snapped. Here is my first blog post. (Well, more accurately, my first blog post in c. 5-8 years?) I signed up with WordPress.com a couple of days ago without any planning, just knowing I wanted to “connect”… but not knowing clearly with whom or about what…

I’m not really sure about a lot of things… what to say, what not to say, how to focus…

A wise advisor had these words for me yesterday:

“Don’t spend more time thinking about what you’re going to write than thinking about what you’re going to do each day.”

I think that is probably very good advice, and so, despite my inclinations to spend three times as much time researching as writing, and to write and re-write (an English teacher’s dream?) this will probably be stream-of-consciousness, so that I might manage to actually DO something every day.

Who am I?

Well, for starters, I am a 45-year-old married woman with two sons, one cat, and no job, in a strange town, starting from scratch.

What is it I do every day?

Well, the usual things most people have to do… obtaining and providing food, clothing, and shelter for myself and my family… cooking, laundry, household cleaning and maintenance, and, of course, paying for all these necessities (and related conveniences), which in all the places I have lived also requires communication, transportation, work, and money!

I need to WORK! for MONEY! Yes, money. Yes, this is a very pressing issue. I really must make some money. And so, some part of this blog will probably be about finding jobs and other ways to make money.

Of course, like most people (though not all people), I do not really consider money the end, but the means, and it does not really interest me as much as cooking, or even cleaning, hah!, – which may be why I am in the leaky boat I am in.

What am I doing here then? What is the purpose of this blog?

Well, I hope this blog will serve many purposes. I have many interests, concerns, and questions beyond basic necessities… I don’t even know where to begin…

Just off the top of my head here are some things I love eternally and some things that have fascinated me at different times in my life: surfing the internet; Google; photography, all genres; Flickr; Mark Twain; E.E. Cummings; funny and inspirational quotes; cooking and decorating gingerbread; recipes and menus; shrimp, home-made soup, pinto beans, rice, apple pie; Mexican, Japanese, Moroccan, and Southern American food; the history of food and plants indigenous to the USA and Virginia; timelines; growing nasturtiums, herbs, and other edible and medicinal plants and flowers; the scents of sandalwood, garlic, rosemary, cumin; landscapes, particularly in Virginia; summer days on a river; beaches any time of year; the sounds of my sons laughing; seeing my sons discover their own “powers”; tools; having the time to pay proper attention to anything or anyone; sacred geometry; fractals; postcards; nenga-jo; good works; mystics; Zen Buddhism; my husband’s voice speaking in Moroccan to his family or teaching; warm sunny days with a light breeze; talking with my neighbors on a porch about nothing in particular; building houses; tattoos; bubbles; patchwork quilts; maps; reference resources; and so much more…

I s’pose all those things and many more will end up in this blog, and I hope that the blog will help me concentrate and organize (???!!!) those fascinations, discoveries, musings, resources, collections, projects, etc. in one place in a way that they will be more accessible and useful to me and others.

After a quick browse through Technorati.com I s’pose this blog will fall into the “Lifestyles” category. – But probably NOT Martha Stewart style, hah!

Here’s a poem that seems appropriate. I have had a photocopy of it in my organizer for years, but don’t know where I found it. I believe the author is Emma Morgan.

Attention Deficit Disorder

I

In my world of mental anarchy

the task “to clean the house”

breaks into ten

and ten again

like a seven breaking into two and five

one and six then three and four

each another sum of parts

so that I might wash a dish

dust three shelves

read one page

and return a phonecall

before I finally settle

into sweeping half the stairs

or scouring one sink

with a ferocity of purpose

II

When you speak to me

of Russian borders rearranging –

your hair-do

the glimmer of your nail polish

the dream I had last night

and the pattern on the wallpaper

at your back

vie for my attention

like a class of eager children

sliding off their seats

with the sheer potency of right answers

Your world of global puzzles

loses me in a grand collage of universes

each the size of the pen cap

held between your teeth

But give me just your shoe

or one braided lace

to you a detail –

to me a world of six strands

each a set of threads

the tension of the weave precise

and I can see what isn’t visible to you

You couldn’t stand to pay attention

in that small world

snaking through the eyelets of your shoe

III

I dismiss the boundaries

of minute, hour, day

until there’s only task –

task so focused it becomes world

my mind a sheet of paper

folded in on itself

and again

until it becomes a crane

a Moor on horseback

or a hummingbird

poised on the lip of a blossom

balanced on a stillness

built of motion

A visual demonstration of this idea:

Mandelbrot and Julia Set Explorer